June 2024

Sections

• Writing Advice
• Editing Advice
• Service Availability

Writing Advice

Last month we talked about STORY GOALS.

And then I gave you some homework, to list steps that would be things the main character would have to accomplish to reach their story goal.

These step goals become something I call SCENE GOALS. A character enters a scene with the goal of trying to be successful at this one step toward their larger goal.

The story can go off in all sorts of directions depending on what happens with the scene goal. When a character is pursuing a goal, there are four outcomes:

1. YES – the step goal is achieved; the macguffin is obtained.
2. NO – the step goal is not achieved; the macguffin is not obtained.
3. YES, BUT – the step goal has been achieved, BUT something was irrevocably altered that affects the character internally or externally such that going forward they are subtly changed, or they must subtly shift their expectations.
4. NO, AND FURTHERMORE – the step goal is not achieved AND on top of that, the character loses something else they can’t recover, or they are forced back to the beginning, or nearly so. This, of course, affects the character internally and they are irrevocably, fundamentally changed in the way they look at the world. They might become cynical; vengeful; depressed; hopeless, and so many other possibilities that are at the heart of building conflict – a person at odds.

Homework: How many of your step goals that you brainstormed can you envision changing the “yes” into any one of the other four options? Take some time to change at least 50%. In this way, you will branch off your “straightforward plot” into the twists and turns that make a story a gripping, unputdownable read.

You will have to look at each new branch and consider how and when a simple “yes” success has been earned, when the character has grown deserving of a break from drama/trauma, and plan that scene. I’ll talk about what that looks like next month.

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Editing Advice

Last month, we discussed SHOW vs TELL. This month, let’s look at closing the distance in POV. We’re going to talk about FILTER WORDS. We’re moving into the realm of copy and line editing. This is about your word choices.

Let’s start with a definition. What are filter words? Filter words tell the reader how the detail came to the POV character’s attention. They’re indicating that a sense is being used:

What this means is “She saw the man moving through the woods” should instead be “The man moved through the woods”.

If she (Clara, Karen, Jackie, whoever) is the POV character, everything she sees is already understood to be how the detail is known. (This fact is also why, if she couldn’t have been able to see it for whatever reason, you can’t share the detail.)

Another way writers can distance readers is using phrasing like the ones found in this sentence:

• The scent of charcoal assaulted his nose.

First, what other part of his body can identify scents? So “his nose” is redundant. You’re drawing attention to the words, instead of the sensory detail. Go with just the sensory detail and add his reaction/thoughts so that the tension can grow.

• Charcoal. Curling his lip, he studied the clearing. But where was the firepit?

Now, every detail sounds like its coming directly from his internal thoughts. You’ve taken the reader so close they are now inside the character’s head and seeing, smelling, tasting, touching, and hearing everything they do.

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Service Availability

I have a couple remaining openings for moderate length (50-80k) copy edits that can start in July or August 2024. If you are looking to publish in September or October, this is the perfect time to schedule your edit. Contact me through my website.

~ Lara

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