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Writing Advice
Last month, we talked about rewards and turning points in your story plot. This character development will drive your story toward the end as the character takes this new understanding and alters their plans. They have finally seen the toxic things, the bad influences, and the wrong choices, as exactly that, and enter the final stages of transformation, which is to break out of the bad habits and break off the bad connections, in favor of the good connections (like the romantic relationship) that made them feel like being a different person was not only possible, but would be embraced.
Change for change’s sake isn’t sustainable, but change that comes from a changed world view is. And a character with a changed world view often doesn’t prioritize the same way they did at the beginning of the story, and has relationships that are more genuine, more honest, and sturdier.
This changed world view should also heal their wound, or at least put them on the path toward healing. And as any 12-step program will tell you, healing starts with recognizing the pains you’ve caused in your blind pursuit of your goal. So the character apologizes, or does something to make it up to people they’ve hurt or situations that they’ve bulled their way through.
In a romance, this is the Grand Gesture. Such as taking Baby from the corner to center stage (Dirty Dancing). In any other story, it is Repair or Reconciliation. Such as diving in shoulder to shoulder to rebuild a broken community (Karate Kid Part 2).
Your own grand gesture or reconciliation moment should be born from two key things: your character’s wound (utterly attacked in the All is Lost moment), and a gesture that will show other characters how much the character has changed. A character who has been afraid of commitment – and lost the love interest because of it – makes a gesture that is in some way a public statement or gesture of commitment. A character who was closed off because of trust issues – now takes an action that requires them to trust that special someone they want to repair the relationship. And so on.
A great resource for wounds and thinking about how they’re repaired or reconciled is One Stop for Writers discussion of fears. What characters fear, they need to eventually face. The outcome is good this time because this time — finally this time — they have put their trust in the right person, been vulnerable to the right person, because the response is positive, supportive, welcoming, and safe.
Editing Advice
Last month, we discussed how changing up the wording affects the PACE of a scene or dialogue. This month, let’s talk about two more aspects of writing deeply affected by word choice: VOICE and TONE. This particular skill is difficult for many new writers because while the dialogue seems easy – they can hear the character in their head – when the writer gets to the description parts – the narrative describing the setting, the character’s actions and their thoughts, and other things between the dialogue, the writer’s own voice instead appears.
VOICE shows PERSONALITY. In deep POV, whether in first or third, EVERY word should sound as if the point of view character is talking directly to the reader. For dialogue, this is a given. But you also should take care with word choice in the descriptions and the narrative describing the actions of the characters between the dialogue. The words chosen to describe people, places, things, and should be exactly as if EVERYTHING was in quotation marks.
In order to find a character’s voice, you must become something of a student of linguistics. What this means on the simplest level is how were they raised, where were they raised, what words were used in that region, or that level of schooling, to describe things.
For example, a character with a college degree in business will talk differently than a person who is a self-taught entrepreneur, even if they are both in the same line of work. An MBA would use “results-oriented,” where a self-taught person might just use the phrase “getting the job done.” An emergency room nurse might use “triage” where a non-medical person would just say they “looked for the most serious wound.” A serious gardener might talk about “deadheading the flowers and pulling weeds” while a more casual person might just say they “tended” their garden. Many areas of life have jargon like this. My husband adores cooking and uses words like “chiffonade” and “mise en place” to describe preparing food. Me? I’m a functional cook. I “cut up the herbs and vegetables.” He regularly “deglazes the pan,” whereas I only try not to let anything burn to the bottom.
There are also words that show people are from specific generations. “Rizz” is used by many people in their teens to early twenties at the moment (2020s) to mean someone is displaying charisma. It’s used as an adjective or a verb, as in “rizz him up” (show confidence and talk to him), or “guy’s got no rizz” (someone who got shot down by a girl after giving them a lame pick up line).
There are also regional distinctions to word choice. For example, is the thing people sit on a couch, a sofa, or maybe even a settee? Then there’s what an antiquer or a professional decorator might use. To them it might be a divan, Davenport, daybed, or a Queen Anne settee.
So understand where and how your characters learned to speak, how they identify objects and places, as well as their education, their expertise or familiarity with particular subjects. All of these things will dictate their word choices and whether they use jargon or not.
Here’s another example. “Mother” is often used because of upbringing, but it can also be delivered because the formality of the situation dictates the use. While also less formal, “Mom”, “Momma”, and “okaasan,” too, all create a different regional or cultural (Japanese, if you’re curious) voice.
Choosing between something like “Mom” versus “Mother” also shapes the TONE of the scene. In the same way that voice shows the reader a character’s personality, TONE shows the reader the character’s ATTITUDE toward things. Formality is sometimes dictated by a situation, but it can also show that a person feels distant emotionally. Positive words will be chosen to describe things a character feels good about, and negative descriptors will be given to things they dislike, struggle with, or disapprove of.
- James lugged down the old rusted chest and sat heavily on the floor. “Guess I’d better open this now.”
- James winced at each thunk the wooden chest with its wrought iron bands made as he tried to move it slowly down the stairs from the attic. His uncle’s sea chest. His head filled with all sorts of imaginings what treasures he would find when he finally pried open the rusted lock.
In the first passage, it’s clear from the word choices “lugged” “rusted” and “sat heavily” as well as the resigned words “guess” and “I’d better” in the dialogue, that James sees the task of opening the chest as yet another task, onerous even, that he must do, but he really isn’t all that interested as shown by the dismissive tone of “old rusted chest.”
In the second passage, the word choices are much more loving. He “winced” at the “thunks”, and he uses specific detail to describe the chest, as well as “tried to move it slowly.” Clearly, he really wants no harm to come to the chest. He knows its origin and its owner, probably adored this uncle. He’s also eager, imagining all the wonderful things that might be locked away that he will now get a chance to see.
In summary, to edit VOICE and TONE, think about the background of your character (expertise, learning, and upbringing) and check that the vocabulary you’ve used in the narrative and dialogue show exactly who the character is, and how they talk. Then look at the character’s attitude toward the many things, people, and activities going on, and check that the words you used in the sentences match that attitude.
Service Availability
I have one slot remaining in each September and October. November is full (and I’m taking the last week off for a family reunion). However, if you’re looking for editing in December or January, contact me through my website to schedule it today.
~ Lara
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