tone and ‘tude

(sorry so late; this will also be the only newsletter this month. ~LZ)

Flaubert is absolutely correct about the writer. Now, consider this axiom:

What your characters do and say will show readers what they believe.

Carefully choosing your descriptive words will create the tone and ‘tude (attitude) of your story.

We’ve all read a line in a book that stays with us because it is so on point expressing something about the characters or situation. Readers underline those passages in their ebooks and they pop up on an author’s dashboard as popular highlights.

To get more of those, you must craft your story, not simply write it. This means layering, and it means revision. You’ve probably heard “remove every ‘very’ and replace it with a stronger word.” This is not that post.

This post is about choosing a replacement descriptor with attitude. Don’t just picking a different word so you’re not repeating yourself. Pick the word that engenders the correct feeling from among all those synonyms.

Example

Let’s take the word beautiful. Here’s a screenshot of the thesaurus entry for the word. Credit Merriam-Webster

• If the character’s motivational thought is how they would love to talk with that person, perhaps the better synonym is charming.
• If the motivational thought is how they would love to get that person into bed, their beauty might better be expressed through the word ravishing.
• If the narrative character is attracted to power or high status, then the best word might be magnificent. God/dess works here, too, and puts the narrative character figuratively prostrate below the pedestal upon which they’ve raised the other.
• If they were left breathless, they might describe the beautiful person as drop-dead gorgeous or a knockout.

Here’s another consideration: Give the reader a sense of the narrative character’s opinion of themselves. Let’s say your narrative character views the person as beautiful, but feels themselves plain in comparison. They might think flawless, as in they feel they themselves are flawed by comparison.

One word, one change, you reinforce not just that the object of their attention is someone/thing they consider beautiful, but also convey how the narrative character feels in relation to that beauty.

A noun is a person, place or thing

So, what if they’re not talking about a person at all, but a “beautiful” idea? Let’s say Character A is hearing about an idea from Character B. Character B says, “This is a great idea, it’s beautiful!” Maybe, though, Character A wondering whether it will work? But they don’t want to hurt Character B’s feelings. “Oh, how wonderful!” has a ‘tude that says one thing while the character might totally be thinking: oh my god, how on earth is this even going to work?

Task

Go through all the descriptive words and rethink, not of the person/thing being described, but of the motivations, feelings, and attitude of the narrative character toward that person/thing.

Then your story will have tone and ‘tude. Happy writing!

~ Lara

PS – if you are looking for someone to help you with word choice to elevate your story’s tone and ‘tude, that’s a task of a line editor. I provide this service within my copy editing service.

PPS – This month’s prompt on my Facebook writing group

April’s prompt (FB:Workshop) is totally connected to this post topic, so if you’re interested in trying your hand at it, come join us.

Write a scene where two people are talking about a third person who is NOT present.

Remember, the words you choose to have them say (and think, in the case of the POV character) will not only characterize the unseen person for the reader, they will also characterize the speaker’s relationship and attitude toward the unseen person.